


A Dreamer's Hope

by Namiira



Series: Halla's Heart [2]
Category: Dragon Age (Video Games), Dragon Age - All Media Types, Dragon Age: Inquisition
Genre: Abduction, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, F/M, Fluff, Hope, Infant Death, Loss, Miscarriage, Parent Cullen Rutherford, Parent Inquisitor (Dragon Age), Parenthood, Pregnancy, Rescue Missions
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-05
Updated: 2020-07-06
Packaged: 2021-03-05 04:42:11
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 4
Words: 17,066
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25098598
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Namiira/pseuds/Namiira
Summary: Cullen is captured by the red templars after a mission he was sent on by Divine. Tiatria has an unexplained dream of his capture and the next day his horse returns to Skyhold without him. Cassandra searches for him and discovers he was taken to Therinfal Redoubt. Tiatria is pregnant with her and Cullen's second child and worries for his safety. She has another dream that shows him confined in the dungeons.
Relationships: Female Inquisitor/Cullen Rutherford, Female Lavellan/Cullen Rutherford
Series: Halla's Heart [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1778377
Comments: 2
Kudos: 12





	1. A Breath and a Dream

_It was late at night with moon shining high overhead. The stars shun like thousands of diamonds. The moon's light shun over, the snow sparkled underneath its light. Horse hooves tore through it beauty. Cullen was riding his horse a black Fereldan Forder Stallion. He had the running as fast he’d go. Cullen would occasionally look behind him before looking forward again. The horse’s hooves crunched hard into the snow. Branches wiping Cullen in the face even as he lowered his face to avoid it. He was heading back to Skyhold after visiting Haven. He went there to see Charter, she had some information that Divine Victoria thought was vital._

_Cullen leaned in close to the horse’s neck as he encouraged it go faster. The moon’s light helped him see the path that he was on but the trees made it difficult to maneuver around. He narrowly avoided slamming into a few as he tried to keep the horse on track. He could hear his pursuers close behind him. They were hot on his heels, he was determined to make it to Skyhold before he was caught. He had ridden this trail many times before but everything looked different at night._

_A slight overcast of clouds dimmed the moon’s light. A high pitched whistle shot through the trees and hit Cullen in the left side of his back. Cullen clipped the side of a tree with his head; not being able to see. He fell off even though his horse kept going. He fell onto his right side unconscious into the snow. His pursers slowed to a stop. Their foot prints could be heard in the snow as their shadows eclipsed over him._

Tiatria snapped awake sitting throwing herself upright in her bed. She looked around seeing Cullen’s side empty. She looked over at Amaila’s cradle to see she was sleeping. She had grown quite a bit in six months. Tiatria put her right hand over her forehead trying to calm down from her dream. She wasn’t sure what it all meant.

Tiatria's mind then went to her dream about Cullen, was it a warning about Cullen? The dream seemed so real, she wished Solas was still here to talk to about it all. His council would prove very useful right about now. Tiatria looked over to Cullen’s side of the bed. Her left hand gently swept over the blankets. Cullen had been gone for a few months and she deeply missed him. She wasn’t quite sure he had to go on this little adventure to the Storm Coast. She knew he had gotten a letter from Divine Victoria. Tiatria smiled thinking of Leliana as the new Divine. She wanted him to do something in particular there but she didn’t know what.

Tiatria laid on her right side diagonally so she could lay on Cullen’s pillow. She put her arms underneath it snuggling into it. She looked across from her and then turned onto her back. She was hoping he’d get back soon. She had something important to tell him. She put her right hand on her rounded belly that was forming. She had found out she was with child again a few days after he’d left. So she was excited for him to get back so she could tell him. She was hoping it was a boy, she knew Cullen would love to have a boy. As her mind wondered Tiatria prayed for Cullen's safety. Slowly Tiatria drifted off to sleep.

Morning came and Tiatria was finishing up nursing Amaila. She would usually sing a soft lullaby to her as part of their time together. She wanted her to know the words, songs and history of her people. Tiatria held Amaila’s tiny right hand as she sang. She heard footsteps racing up the stairs. She held up her head to see Cassandra coming up them.

“You need to see something” she told her in a concerned tone.

Tiatria looked down at the baby actually finished and was going to sleep. She covered herself up and moved to put the baby back into her cradle. Tiatria was back into her favorite dress since she was starting to show and her normal clothes stopped fitting. Amaila's nanny took over as they both went down the stairs. Tiatria walked briskly with Cassandra exiting the Great Hall.

Tiatria saw Cullen’s horse she looked around, “Where’s Cullen? He normally takes his horse to the stable before comes in. This is very unusual for him.”

Cassandra looked at her, “That’s what I wanted you to see. This is very unusual and I think that something is wrong.”

Tiatria went down to the horse who she could tell was still startled. She gently took the reins with her left hand and stroked its cheek. Tiatria looked at the horse’s saddle, the stirrups anything that could give her any ideas onto as what happened. Cassandra bent over and examined the hooves one by one. She looked at the horse’s body as she kept her left hand on it. She turned her head to the left, “It has scratches on its body. By the looks of it from branches.

Tiatria looked at the horse’s face and saw scratches too. “Same here, Cullen must have been riding him pretty hard. He doesn’t do that unless he’s trying to get away from something.” The two looked at each other as they thought for a few moments.

“It’s possible someone or something was chasing him. Maybe he fell off his horse and the poor creature never looked back.” Cassandra surmised.

Tiatria stroked the horse’s nose, “Horses don’t do that unless they are being chased and afraid. If someone was chasing Cullen, we need to find out who it was and if they have him or if Cullen is out there wounded.”

Cassandra nodded, “I will go and take a small regiment of soldiers with me. Maybe we can find him or see if we can pick up a trail.”

Tiatria nodded in agreement, “Take the horse with you, he says he’ll lead you back.”

Cassandra gave her a suspicious look, “Lead me?”

Tiatria smiled, “Yes, he’ll lead you back to where the last time he felt Cullen on his back. In the meantime I’m go and look over the maps in the War Room. See if I can find any paths he might have taken. I will also send out our spies and see if they can find anything.”

Cassandra looked at the horse who stared at her back, “How do you know that from a horse? How can it possibly tell you anything?”

Tiatria smiled, “Cassandra just get on him and he’ll take you there. If you come back without Cullen, we need to figure out what to do next.”

They nodded to each other and Tiatria went back into the Great Hall.

***************************************************

Soft sounds of water dripping on stone bricks which caused Cullen to slowly wake up. As his eyes adjusted to the light which was dim. He slowly realized he was in a cell that was made of stone. It was fifteen by ten. The entrance of the cell was open face with bars. He sat up rubbing the left side of his head. Cullen hissed when his fingers touched his skin. The left side of his back hurt like none other. He figured it was from an arrow, he’d felt this kind of pain before. He used his right hand to move the top of his shirt. He saw that his wound had been dressed.

“Maker’s Breath where am I?” he groaned shaking his head.

Cullen looked around and saw huge lyrium crystals coming out of the sides of the walls. He looked at the floor and saw liquid red lyrium in between the stones of the floor. He then noticed the anti-magic ruins carved in the floors. He groaned when he realized where he was. He put his head back up against the wall. He looked at his wrists and saw they were shackled which meant he chained to the wall. He then noticed he was taken out of his armor and left in his tunic, pants and boots.

“Sod it all!” he sighed heavily. 

After a while Cullen heard footsteps coming down the hall and saw exactly what he expected to find. A red templar, surprisingly enough he recognized.

“Carroll?" questioned in horror, "Maker’s Breath, what happened to you?”

Carroll was huge, he was several times his normal size. He had huge chunks of lyrium Crystals coming out of him and his armor. His chest, back, arms and hands had them everywhere. Cullen was barely able to tell it was him.

Carroll looked at Cullen just remaining silent for a few moments. “Knight-Commander” he slurred in a growl.

Cullen narrowed his eyes trying to find the man Carroll once was. “I used to be, I’m not anymore. Why am I here?”

Cullen heard another set of footsteps and saw woman. By the look of her armor, robes and hood that she could be part of the Templar archer regimen. Cullen could see from her hood that she had red lyrium veins growing into her face. “I’m Susanne, I was sent to talk to you. I’m one of the few left that still think and talk properly.”

Cullen narrowed his eyes and gave a suspicious look. “What do you want from me? You lot were chasing me a few miles out from Haven”

Susanne gave him a slightly dismissive look, “Well you weren’t exactly slowing down.”

“Why should I when I’m being chased by only Maker knows what?” Cullen questioned frustrated.

Susanne narrowed her eyes, “Well that’s why I had to slow you down.”

Cullen looked at her agitated, “So you are the one I get to thank for this?” he questioned in pain holding his shoulder with his right hand.

She nodded, “Yes”

Cullen gave a snort, “Whatever it is that you want, I doubt I’m going to like or agree to it.”

Susanne looked at him not happy with his attitude. “You killed Samson, he was all we had left after the Chantry abandoned us. Each of us had either our minds burned away by lyrium or were injured in the line of duty. We were discarded and abandoned bye the Chantry. No pay, no thank you," Susanne's face became hard as swept her left hand to the side as, she shook her head. "Nothing! Just a swift kick of the boot and we were on our own." Susanne made a complete circle before she looked at Cullen again. "Samson took us in, gave us purpose, a use again. Your Inquisition killed him and now we are left with nothing on top of being leaderless!" she snapped.

Cullen growled, “I killed that monstrous bastard because he helped kidnapped my wife, who was carrying my child!” Cullen carefully got up onto his feet, “He pressed my hand and in the end I wouldn’t have killed him otherwise.”

Susanne looked at Cullen as she started to pace about. “Well none the less there is only a few of us left and there is no one of significant rank with capability to do it.”

It was at that moment Cullen realized what she wanted, why he was brought here. “Forget it! I will never help you! You’re better off killing me now.” He told her still agitated.

Susanne gave a clever smile, "That's not all we want with you" Cullen gave the woman a firm look as she slowly passed about. "We got intelligence that you were to meet someone at Haven with important information, possibly about red lyrium."

Cullen's face became as hard as stone, he wasn't going to tell anyone, anything about why he was at Haven. Susanne gave a clever smile, “We figured you’d say that. That’s why we put you here to be exposed to the lyrium and I personally shot you with a red lyrium crystal arrow into your back.”

Cullen lurched forward but was held back with the chains. Carroll and Susanne started to walk out and closed the cell. “Get comfortable Knight-Commander, you’re going to be here for a while.” Cullen watched them walked out his sight.

********************************************************************

Cullen’s horse lead Cassandra to where he last remembered having Cullen on his back. Cassandra turned her head looking at a small troop of soldiers behind her.

“Spread out! Look for the Commander or any trace of him. Report back if you find anything!” she ordered.

The soldiers saluted and began to look around. Cassandra dismounted and started to look herself. She found a patch of snow that looked particularly disturbed. It was near a tree about six feet from her. She walked over. She looked over the tree seeing bark being taken off. She then knelt down seeing horse tracks in the snow. She found a huge disturbance in the snow it looked as if someone’s body laid there. She then saw dried blood in the snow too. Cassandra took a deep breath she knew that wasn’t good. However, it could be anyone’s or anything’s so she didn’t want to reach any conclusions yet.

She continued to look around seeing tracks leading away. She walked following them till she reached a path and a clearing. She recognized the path and the road, she knew where it led to.

Tiatria was in Leliana’s old tower, she had a scout holding onto a raven as she finished writing a message. She needed to know why the Divine sent Cullen on the mission she did. She also requested her help to find Cullen. When she finished Tiatria tied the letter to the bird’s leg. She then took the bird from the scout and walked out the balcony.

Tiatria kissed the bird as she closed her eyes. “May the gods grant you swift wings my friend.”

Tiatria released the bird and watched it fly away. Her heart went with it in hopes she’d hear back soon. Tiatria was trying to stay calm for the sake of the baby but she wasn’t sure how much longer she’d be able to keep it up. She slowly walked back to the War Room and went over the maps again. The more she looked at the maps, the more she remembered flashes of her dream of Cullen from last night. She walked around the table and leaned against it with her back. Her left hand gripping the rim of the table as she rose her right hand to her forehead.

The more she thought about it the more she realized that maybe it wasn’t a dream. Maybe she really saw what happened. Tiatria put the fingers of her right hand over her mouth as she began to worry. She wanted Cullen home, the thought of him not coming back frightened her. She put her hand on her belly as the thought of never getting to tell Cullen about his new child was too much. She began to cry, she heard the door open and she quickly wiped the tears away. She looked up to see Cassandra.

“I think I found where Cullen was last. I found a huge disturbance of snow and tracks. There was an imprint in snow where it looks like a person of Cullen’s size would have fallen.”

Cassandra took a huge sigh as she looked at Tiatria. “There is more but I need you to stay calm.”

Tiatria’s body tensed when she heard that. Cassandra put her hands on Tiatria’s belly. “I need you to stay calm for the baby.” She kept her eyes fixed on Tiatria’s. “I saw blood in the snow, it may be Cullen’s.”

Tiatria’s eyes got wide as she started to take in deep breaths. The thought of Cullen bleeding out there scared her. Her heart started to really pound.

Cassandra kept her eyes on Tiatria’s, “It may also not even be his. It could be something else. I need you to stay calm. Cullen would want you to stay calm for the baby’s sake.”

Tiatria struggled to keep herself calm as she nodded. She knew Cassandra was right, he would want that. Cassandra smiled as she saw Tiatria getting a handle on her breathing and started to relax.

Tiatria looked at her nodding “What do we do now then? Was there a trail leading out anywhere?”

Cassandra nodded moving to Tiatria’s left to look at the map. She used her right index finger to point out a trail. “I followed the trail till it led out to a clearing of trees and to a worn path. It leads to Therinfal Redoubt, the old Seeker Fortress.”

Tiatria had flashes of the last time she was there. Chained to the wall, forced to drink Darkspawn blood. Tiatria started to have a panic attack just thinking about it.

Cassandra looked at Tiatria holding her hands. “If he is there we will find him. There had to be a reason he was taken there. So I doubt he’s dead. I will take a group of our friends and rescue him. I know what memories that place holds for you. You can stay here and rest.”

Tiatria shook her head giving Cassandra a sour look. “I’m coming with you! I won’t let him languish there.”

Cassandra looked at Tiatria, she’d had seen that look in her face before. There would be no stopping her, she was coming.

***************************************************************

Cullen’s shoulder was hurting him, the wound was at a location where he couldn’t access, to try to remove the red lyrium shard. He could feel his heart start to race and started to sweat. He was brought food and water but he refused to touch any of it. He didn’t trust any of it and didn’t want to risk ingesting any red lyrium. He was chained to the wall so he couldn’t move anywhere too far from the crystals.

,

Cullen looked around his cell to see if there were any weaknesses and flaws. He stood up and his shirt caught on a sharp piece of stone. He turned seeing that half way up a piece of stone was sticking out. He touched it with his right hand and tried to see if it wiggled. He found that it was broken on the bottom, leaving the top sharp. Cullen worked it enough with both hands that, he could move it out more making it stick out better. He looked at his plate and saw there was a knife. He grabbed it and worked it for hours till it had a sharp point. 

Cullen took off his shirt and unwrapped his dressing. He sat on his knees and slowly rose on his knees till he felt the point. He then stabbed the point into his wound where the crystal shard was. He clinched his teeth as he didn’t dare scream, he didn’t want to alert anyone. He had it dig around till he felt it was under the crystal. There was a few moments he thought he’d pass out from the pain but he just took deep breaths threw his nose. He then used his body as leverage to dig it out. After a few moments he felt it rip out and hit the wall. Cullen fell on all fours as he coughed and groaned from the pain. He took in deep breaths as his eyes focused. He then looked over and saw the shard. It was two inches long. He then threw it out of his cell, he didn’t want it anywhere near him as he fell to the ground unconscious.

*****************************************************

_Tiatria was deep in sleep when she felt swept away into a massive castle like fortress. Templar flags hung from the ramparts and battlements._

_She could feel herself walking around in the dead of night. She could see red templars walking around. She hid in the shadows till she realized they couldn’t see her. She walked around for hours till she found a door that when she opened it led downwards. She walked down them and saw many different cells._

_In a cell in the corner of her right she saw Cullen unconscious. She saw he was on his stomach with a wound to the left side of his back. It was just next to his shoulder blade. She could see him chained to the wall. Tiatria ran to Cullen and held onto the bars, “Cullen wake up! Please for the love of the Gods wake up!”_

_Cullen seemed to be breathing but not moving. She started to panic as she couldn’t get in, she tried to freeze the bars but her magic wouldn’t work. She then remembered the floor hand anti-magic ruins._

_Tiatria fell to her knees her right arm outstretched in an attempt to try and touch Cullen with the the fingers of her hand. “Cullen wake up! CULLEN WAKE UP!”_

_Cullen rose his head as if woken up from someone calling to him. He looked around and saw no one._

Tiatria woke up as she swiftly sat up. She was in a cold sweat as she struggled to catch her breath. She put her right hand over belly. She was trying to make sense of what just happened. After a few moments, she felt cramping and she struggled to get out of her bed. She noticed she was bleeding a little bit. Her heart pounded as she started to panic.

Tiatria called out for Amaila’s nanny to come. The woman woke up and walked up to her, “What can I help you with?” Tiatria was starting to sweat, “Get a healer! Now!” The girl ran off when she saw some of the blood.

Cassandra ran up the stairs to the Inquisitor’s room seeing her laying down. She had heard that Tiatria was in distress and came to investigate. The healer was finishing up with washing her hands.

“What happened?” she questioned.

The healer looked at the Seeker, “She needs rest, the stress of the Commander being gone is weighing on her. The baby is starting to show signs of it and may not make it to term because of it.”

Cassandra looked at her friend then back at the woman, “Will the child survive the night?”

“It should, but the Inquisitor needs rest and to stay quiet.” The healer looked at Cassandra seriously, “The sooner we find out what’s happened to the Commander the better. If we can get him back we need to do it soon.” She then left the two alone, Cassandra walked up to her friend.

Tiatria looked at her friend, “Get Dorian, I need to speak with him.” Cassandra nodded and left.

After some time Dorian came up with Cassandra, “You couldn’t have sent for me after, I had my beauty sleep?” he teased with a smirk. He saw Tiatria’s state of affairs and quickly changed his demeanor. He sat next to her on the bed, “Now, what is this all about my Darling?”

“I had a dream of Cullen I don't understand why.” Dorian’s straightened up as he smiled, “You woke me up for that?”

Tiatria shook her head “No, this new dream was different. It was very vibrant, very realistic, Cullen was in a huge fortress that had templar flags hanging from its ramparts and battlements.”

Cassandra had her arms crossed but she then walked up closer to her tuning in. “I saw red templars inside of it along with long halls and passage ways. It’s all made of stone and after you climb up the main stairway from the courtyard you enter a great hall. On the left of the hall are doors that lead to an inner courtyard and other doors. One of them I opened and I found the dungeon and Cullen was in one of them.”

Cassandra narrowed her eyes as she shook her head in amazement. “She’s describing Therinfal Redoubt. It’s remarkable the detail she’s giving. As if she was actually there.”

Dorian looked at Cassandra as she shook her head, “How could she know such things?”

Dorian looked at Tiatria who grabbed his right hand. “I saw that Cullen was unconscious and that he had a wound in the left of his back; but he was still breathing. He’s chained to a wall by both hands.”

Cassandra and Dorian looked at each other shocked. Dorian turned to Tiatria seeing she was getting worked up. He gently hushed her holding her hands with his.

Tiatria started to cry, “I also had a dream the night Cullen was taken too, that he was being chased. I couldn’t see by who though, then he hit his head on a tree and fell into the snow bank.” Cassandra grabbed Dorian by his left shoulder and motioned him to come with her. They stepped away so she couldn’t hear.

Cassandra looked at him. “I found a tree that had bark missing where I believe Cullen fell of his horse. I didn’t tell the Inquisitor that part. I didn’t tell anyone that!”

Dorian narrowed his eyes having his left arm under his right as he moved his hand. “Maybe it’s an ability from her mark? Perhaps it’s reacting with her dreams in some way.”

Cassandra wasn’t quite sure what to make of it. “But that doesn’t explain her being able to see Cullen, or the inside of Therinfal Redoubt.”

Dorian thought for a moment as he looked at Tiatria. “Maybe her love of the Commander and being in her delicate condition is acting as a catalyst?”

Cassandra gave a nod, “Seems as good a reason as any, how are we to handle this? It’s obviously having an effect on her and the child.”

Dorian looked at Tiatria I’m not quite sure. “I’ve heard of this sort of thing in Minrathous though. I need to research the library and see if I can find anything on this type of thing.” 

Cassandra gave a nod, “Go, and hurry back with any new information you can find.”

Dorian nodded and walked back to Tiatria, he sat next to her and smiled. “I’m going to go and do some research on your dreams. Now I want you to stay here and rest. Will you do me that favor?”

Tiatria nodded as she struggled to hold back her tears. “So you believe me?”

Dorian smiled, “Of course, if you have anymore have someone come and get me.” Tiatria sighed, relieved someone was believing her. Dorian smiled as his right index finger gently touching her cheek.

Tiatria nodded, “Thank you Dorian”

Dorian smiled, “Anytime” he then got up and left.

Cassandra walked up to Tiatria and gave her a gentle smile. “Are you alright? Do you need me to stay or do anything for you?” Tiatria shook her head as she used her right hand to cover her eyes. "No, thank you Cassandra, just let me know if anyone finds anything."

Cassandra gave a nod, "Yes, of course." she told her gently slowly backed away as she turned and left the room.


	2. Holding onto Hope

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Cassandra plans a way to rescue Cullen and bring him home. Tiatria awaits word from the Divine on word if she'll bring aid and any insight on what Cullen was doing in Haven in the first place. She struggles to keep herself calm for the sake of her unborn child but the dreams continue. Dorian explains his theory on the matter of why she's having the dreams. When Tiatria learns Cassandra and the others are leaving without her she sets out on her own to save her husband.

Cassandra looked at Bull and Varric. She was on one side of the War table facing the wall. They were on the other side of it. Cassandra pointed to Therinfal Redoubt on the map.

“Therinfal Redoubt is a fortress in Ferelden. Initially Therinfal Redoubt was utilized as a training ground for the Seekers where we could practice and hone our skills without any possibility of distraction or temptation. It was in use since at least the Storm Age, before" Cassandra stood up straight as she became frustrated. "the Seekers were finally forced to abandon the fortress in 8:99 Blessed due to financial reasons.” she finished. 

She shook her head, “It is a massive fortress which I am sure you remember." Varric wasn't in the mood to remember that particular adventure. "The Inquisitor last night had a dream where she saw the fortress and saw Cullen inside one of the cells.”

Bull looked at Cassandra confused, “Wait, you’re telling us the Inquisitor dreamed of seeing Cullen inside?”

Varric agreed with Bull, “Come on Seeker, it’s common for people to dream of loved ones.”

Cassandra shook her head, “No Varric, she described the fortress itself and the dungeons. The last time she was there she wouldn’t have remembered anything! She described every detail of the fortress as if she'd seen it before.”

Both men gave a surprised look. “Do we at least know what Cullen’s condition is?” questioned Varric.

Cassandra looked at Varric honestly, “He’s alive, wounded, but alive.”

Cassandra sighed looking at them, “We need to figure a way for us to get Cullen out of there. The stress is getting to the Inquisitor and it is starting to give her complications to her condition.”

Both could see the severity on Cassandra's face. “Okay, so how do you purpose we get into a place like that and not get our asses killed?” questioned Bull. “It’s not like we can just up to the gates and walk in.”

Tiatria was holding Amaila as she looked over the balcony. Amaila loved grabbing at her Mother’s hair. Tiatria would gently take her hand and pull them off her hair and kiss them. Tiatria looked over the skyline and looked at the scar in the sky where the breach once was. She looked at it for a few moments and then she had an idea. She left her room and hurried across the great hall as she climbed up the stairs and looked for Dorian.

He was sitting in his chair reading, “Dorian!” she called out.

Dorian rose his head surprised to see her standing there. He shot up from his chair, “What are you doing up my dear woman? I thought I told you to rest!”

Dorian took the baby from Tiatria as she shook her head. “I just realized something, how to get save Cullen without the Templars seeing us!” Dorian had a rather puzzled look on his face. Tiatria showed her marked hand, “I can use my mark! I can open a fade rift from the outside of the castle and open another inside.”

Dorian shook his head, “Wait a minute, how are you to do that when you don’t even know how to judge where to open the next rift? You could bloody well open it in the middle of the dining hall.”

Tiatria started to get agitated, “We have to help him! We have to try! He’s been in there for over a month.”

Dorian could see that Tiatria's mind was going everywhere trying to find some sort of a solution. He sighed and had Tiatria sit in his chair. “Okay now that’s better.” He grabbed his book from behind his belt. “I was reading this before you came in.” Tiatria looked at him curious, “What is it?” she questioned.

Dorian handed Amalia to her mother since she was grabbing at his mustache. He opened the book to the part he was currently reading, “I think I figured out why you can see Cullen in your dreams the way you do.” Tiatria showed interest, Dorian looked at her, “I think this new baby of yours is called a _Somniari_!”

Tiatria gave a confused look he noticed his tevinter term of phrase had confused her. “Sorry my Tevinter terminology is getting the better of me. It means a Dreamer. A special kind of mage who can shape the Fade.” Tiatria gave a complete look of surprise. She knew Amaila was a dreamer but now to have another was not only interesting but amazing.

Dorian squatted down to look at her better. “I’m guessing the fact you and your dear Commander are so tightly bonded that your little sprite there is, helping you keep a watch on him.” Tiatria lost the color out of her face. Dorian took Amaila from Tiatria and sat her down on the floor. Dorian then looked at his friend concerned, he could see she was a hairs breath from a panic attack. “Breathe my dear breathe!” Tiatria started to take deep breaths from the nose.

Once Tiatria was calm enough, Dorian continued. “Moreover, I think last night was too much for the little thing and that’s why you started to bleed. I think you have to take things _very_ easy at this point. If you go gallivanting around now while your baby is doing this you have a strong chance of things going wrong my dear.” Tiatria saw the sincerity in Dorian’s face.

Tiatria took a huge sigh as she looked at Dorian curiously, "What if I tell you Amaila had this power also?" Dorian's face was shocked to say the least. "What do you mean?" Tiatria looked at her daughter who was content a the moment. "Solas told me she was a Dreamer too! That's how I got stuck in the fade at the temple of Dumat." 

Dorian looked at the baby as his right hand drew down from his jaw and off his chin. He realized he was going to have really do his research. Now with Amaila in play, he really had to think about this. Tiatria watched as Dorian looked at her daughter curiously, “Is there a way one or both of them is doing this?”

Dorian shook his head as his face clearly showed puzzlement. He shook his head, “I’m afraid I don’t know. All I can do is look around and see if I can find something.”

Tiatria looked over at her daughter and was shocked to see her on all fours. Tiatria's right hand feverishly tapped Dorian's chest. "Dorian look!" Dorian watched as the infant moved herself back and forth as if to give herself motion. After a few minutes, Amaila's right hand went out. It was shaky but the two watched the infant slowly start to move herself forward. 

"She's crawling!" Tiatria exclaimed in an excited but hushed tone. The two watched as the infant moved herself forward, tears poured down Tiatria's cheeks as Dorian helped her stand up. Once the infant was outside the alcove and neared the guard rails of the tower's center banister, Tiatria quickly snatched the baby. 

"Ma da'len!" she exclaimed as she kissed the infants cheeks causing her to giggle. Dorian observed with a smile as he watched his friend's excitement. He then noticed Tiatria snuggling the infant as her shoulders began to shake. "My dear what's wrong?"

Tiatria looked at Dorian as she struggled to sniff up her tears, "Cullen missed it." Dorian's face showed immense sadness, "This isn't something he have back to see his daughter reach a major mild stone like this." Tiatria took a sigh as she stood up with a determined look on her face. “Cullen can't miss another one like this! We’re going to get him out of there, Dorian. If Cassandra doesn’t find a way soon, I will!” she told him determined. Tiatria left with tears in her eyes.

***********************************************

Cullen’s wound was slow to close, he at least got the shard out. The templars were persistent to try and break him. They would give him food and water only when they knew he was desperate enough. Cullen would only take in enough water to keep him alive and no more. He wasn’t sure about the food either. He suspected red lyrium hidden inside it so he resisted eating too much of it.

Most of the time Susanne would question him for hours on why he was at Haven in the first place. Cullen refused to break on that issue so, Susanne asked as to why he'd leave the order in the first place. Then she'd question why he refused to join, to just let the order die out and refuse to pick up the mantle. Cullen would be the only one who could bring them back from the brink.

The lack of food was getting to Cullen, he couldn’t think straight half the time. “I’m not going to join nor will I tell you about my affairs at the coast! You can either let me go or kill me. I don’t see the point in keeping me here anymore.” he growled.

Cullen was sitting on the floor with his right leg pushed up. His back wound was dressed again. Susanne paced around looking at him. “The Inquisition is dying there is nothing to tie you there anymore. Why do you linger there? Why not look for other opportunities for yourself?”

Cullen just watched her pace giving her a look that told her she wouldn’t get anywhere. “I stay with the Inquisition for my own reasons.” His thoughts went his family they were all that kept him going.

Cullen sighed, “I left the Templars because I couldn’t serve anymore. The nightmares, the flashbacks not to mention after that blasted mage who blew up the Chantry in Kirkwall starting a war; I couldn’t be a part of it!” Cullen shook his head as he looked down at his hands “Not anymore. The faces of all the dead from both sides…I couldn’t live with it anymore.”

Susanne could see the signs that she was all too familiar with. “The stories I have heard of you are legend in the order Knight-Commander. Why not let the lyrium take you like it does the rest? What makes you so special?”

Cullen looked at her, “I’m no longer Knight-Commander that is no longer my title. I am a part of the Inquisition, part of something bigger. Bigger than the order, bigger than the circle, bigger than the Chantry itself! We are leading Thedas into the next age, leading to something greater.”

Cullen put his head back on the wall, “The stories you heard about me are just that, stories. I may have survived Kinloch and Kirkwall but, I paid a heavy price. There is nothing heroic about any of it.”

Cullen looked at the female templar with fierce anger. “Do you know what it’s like to be trapped in a cell created by a blood mage and watch abominations and demons kill your friends? Kill the charges you swore to protect, while you were safe in a cell the whole time? To look at the hollow shells that used to be people you knew, talked to?”

Cullen looked away from her, “I’m not special, never claimed to be. If I was going to leave the order, I was going to leave all of it behind…including the lyrium. I wanted to find a new way to live, a new way to be!” He looked at Susanne, “Can’t you of all people understand that? I will not lead you because your purpose has been corrupted, tainted, of what you once stood for! You all turned from the Maker and what we _swore_ to do! Like I said earlier. You will have to kill me before I will have anything to do with you!” he snarled.

Susanne exploded, “SO WHAT? WE LET THE ORDER DIE? LET WHAT WE TRIED TO DO WITH SAMSON TO RESHAPE THE WORLD WITHOUT MAGIC DIE? THEN WHAT WAS THE POINT OF THIS?”

Cullen looked at her tired and worn, “Samson, was not honest with what he wanted from the order, out of you. You all did this for nothing! You were meant to be part of an army to serve a magister who aspired to be a god. Nothing more! Samson lied to you and the order!”

Susanne punched him on the left side of his jaw. “LIAR!” With Susanne's armor, especially her gauntlets, really bruised Cullen's jaw. Some of the skin was taken off. Cullen held his jaw with his right hand as he sat up. Susanne looked at him with contempt in her eyes.

“If you won’t help us then you’ll rot here till you die!” she growled, and left him in his cell. Cullen looked at her as he heard the cell door squeak shut and lock. "We will find out why you were at the Storm Coast and you will give it to us; one way or another."

*******************************************************

Cassandra look at the war map as she circled the table. She was trying to figure out how to get into the fortress to save her friend. She had been there herself a few times but didn’t recall any sideways entrances that she could access with the others. Bull, Varric and Dorian walked in and she rose her head.

“We need to assault the fortress soon if Cullen is going to have any hope of getting out alive.”

Dorian looked at her, “I doubt we can just knock on the door and walk in requesting our good Commander back. I think something more forceful will have to be done for them to be persuaded to give him back.”

Varric looked at her, “The Inquisitor has been holding up pretty well but she can’t last much longer without him. The longer her condition goes without him the more she worries. I know also the little lady has been missing him too.”

Bull groaned, “Do you have a plan?”

Cassandra looked back at the map “Not exactly. The most we can do is pick them off one by one till we get into the fortress itself. We have to hope that there isn’t that many red templars left that will give us opposition. They have to be desperate to have kidnapped Cullen in the first place.”

Varric sighed, “Well it’s as good a plan as any I suppose.” Dorian looked at her, “Someone has to tell the Inquisitor this.”

Cassandra gave a look of contemplation, “If we do tell her, she’ll want to come with us, that much is clear. In her current state, I don’t know if she could still carry their child to term.”

Everyone gave a look of concern. “Either way we need to get to his ass and soon! I doubt they are giving him the five star treatment over there.” said Bull.

Cassandra nodded, “Get your things and make ready to leave as soon as you are able. I will talk with the Inquisitor on the matter and join with you afterwards.” she told them. Everyone left as Cassandra sighed and left to go find Tiatria.

Tiatria was in the Leliana’s old tower hoping to receive some word from the Divine. She was hoping to know why Cullen was sent there in the first place and if she could help rescue him. She was firmly into her second trimester now and her belly was a good size. She hadn’t received any dreams either of Cullen to know if he was alright and she was beginning to lose hope. She’d come up periodically to see if there was any response but so far there was none. She’d see Raven’s come in but none with the news she wanted to hear.

Tiatria was out on the balcony watching the birds come in. She’d look out across the skyline just thinking about him and wondering if he was okay. She wondered how often he thought of her and the Amaila. She wished she could tell him about Amaila's crawling and about the one that was on its way.

*********************************************************

Cullen was in his cell holding a locket he had commissioned a little while back. It was about two inches long and an inch wide. It was oval and made of silverite. The chain was about six inches in length. He had it clipped to his right front pocket for safe keeping. Inside he had two portraits, one of Tiatria and one of Amaila. The pictures were hinged and had a hidden compartment behind them. Inside he had a lock of each of their hair. He prayed often that his family was okay and doing well without him. He was hoping that if he didn’t make it out of this alive that Tiatria had the strength, she needed to carry on without him.

Cullen thanked the Maker daily that the red templars hadn’t found and taken it from him. It was all he had to keeping him together. He often thought about how big Amaila had gotten and if she was crawling yet. It made him laugh to imagine everyone trying to keep up with her to make sure she didn’t get into trouble. He wondered how Tiatria made it without him at night. She often found comfort and strength for the next day with him there to hold her. Especially after her assault in Skyhold, she felt safer when he was there.

He put his head back and wondered why he took the mission he did from the Divine. If he had simply said no, he’d be at home with his family right now. He and Tiatria were trying for another child, he rather be doing that than having sit in this pit. But his faith demanded he except, and he did what she asked of him. He just hoped the Maker would count this in his favor.

Cullen looked at Amaila’s picture and missed putting her to bed. He lost track if it was night or day anymore because where he was there were no windows. He didn’t know what the Maker had planned for him and what was to come next. He just wished that he could hold his wife and put his little girl to bed, one more time.

Cullen snapped out of his head as he heard footsteps, it was one of the cooks bringing down his food. It was another red templar that opened the cell's door and let a woman dressed in normal attire with an an apron. She looked to be in her thirties, blood hair, brown eyes. Cullen put his locket in his pocket as he gave a nod, "Thank you" he told her. The woman gave a nod, instead immediately leaving like normal, she looked over her shoulder. She then moved closer to Cullen, "Commander Cullen Rutherford, that's you?" she whispered.

Cullen gave a nod, "Yes"

The woman leaned closer to his ear, "I've been sent by her Holiness" Cullen looked at the woman shocked, "We received word from the Inquisitor or your abduction and we have worked to find you. There is another one on the inside with me. We both work in the kitchens, I've come to tell you that your food and drink is completely safe." she assured, "So please eat and gain your strength, we will help find away for your release."

"Hey! Get up and back to work will ya!" the woman was prompt to stand up. "Maker bless you" she whispered before leaving Cullen to watch the cell door close.

***************************************************

Tiatria was holding Amaila in her room as she sang her a dalish lullaby to lull her to sleep. She gently rocked Amaila side to side. Once the infant fell asleep, Tiatria gently placed her daughter in her cradle. When she stood up she was start to see Cassandra standing at the stairs.

“I have made the decision to make an attempt on getting Cullen.”

Tiatria’s eyes grew wide as her eyes danced in hope. Tiatria quickly got her armor out of her dresser which Cassandra was quick to stop. “Inquisitor, you have to stay here.” Tiatria looked at her confused, “Varric, Dorian, Iron Bull and I are going to go get him.” Cassandra explained.

Tiatria shook her head, “No, I have to go with you! I have to-” Cassandra shook her head, “You have to stay here and rest! Look after your child and tend to matters here. It is what Cullen would want.”

Tiatria looked at Cassandra still confused. She shook her head “No, I need to go with you! He’s my husband, what would he say if he didn’t see me there to rescue him.”

Cassandra looked Tiatria firmly in the eye, “I know Cullen, he would agree with me once he learns of your condition. You are barely hanging on as it is. You’ve already had problems due to the stress. I’m afraid if you went with us, things would worsen for your child and you could lose it. I know that would be upset Cullen more if something happened.”

Tiatria’s eyes got glassy, “But…”

Cassandra smiled, “Please trust us to get Cullen out and bring him back.”

Cassandra then backed up and left to get ready and meet up with the others. Tiatria walked over to the bed and sat down as she wept. She laid back and rubbed her belly as she fell asleep.

_Tiatria was back in Therinfal Redoubt and she looked around again till she found the dungeon. She went back and saw Cullen again. He had a beard this time, and he had lost some weight and didn’t look good. She still couldn’t get into the cell but she looked around looking up the ceiling and the walls. She ran out the dungeon and looked around following the walls of the dungeon. She followed till found a door and she opened it. It lead to the outside to which she followed till she was on the outside of the fortress all together. It had lush trees and bushes around it, which was good for cover._

Tiatria then felt herself starting to wake and she opened her eyes. She felt more cramping as she sat up. She groaned in pain as she doubled over. She looked out at the sky and saw it was dusk. She thought about what she saw, she felt in her heart she could save her husband. If Cassandra wasn’t going to let her help save him than she was going to do it herself. She got up from the bed and grabbed her armor. She took in deep breaths as she put it all on. Amaila was still sleeping as she finished packing and grabbed her staff. She looked at her bed and saw another blood stain from where she had sat. She took a breath and left. Tiatria notified the nanny to keep a watch on the baby till she got back.

Tiatria then grabbed her horse Hulon and started to get him ready. She was about mount him when: “Inquisitor wait!”

Tiatria turned her head seeing a scout running to her. The scout approached her as she was holding something in her right hand. Tiatria took the tiny paper from the scout. “This is from the Divine, it is what you’ve been waiting for.” Tiatria unrolled the paper and began to read.

_Inquisitor,_

_I am sad to hear of Cullen’s capture. I have sent my best agents to stake out Therinfal Redoubt till you and your party arrive. They will be able to point out any weak points or any place you can enter unseen. I had Cullen go to Haven to look into something for me. To see if something could be recovered in the name of the Maker. That is all I can say less this message is intercepted._

_Maker be with you,_

_Divine Victoria_

Tiatria looked at the scout, “Have someone ride out and give this to Cassandra. She must know of this!”

The scout took the message and saluted, “Yes Inquisitor, right away!”

The scout ran off as Tiatria finished the saddle on Hulon and rode out as fast as she could. She followed the road to Therinfal Redoubt. She knew she couldn’t be that far from Cassandra and the others. She however didn’t want to be seen so she kept her eyes peeled for them.

Cassandra and the others traveled for days fighting against the snow storms. It slowed them down since winter had come. Varric walked out his tent seeing everyone trying to stay warm with the fire. He held out his hands for warmth looking at Cassandra.

“So what now Seeker? What’s the plan for tomorrow?”

Cassandra had a blanket around herself, “We need to see look at the Fortress and check out what defenses they have set up. If they have the main gate down then we will have to find a side entrance. You will probably have to pick the locks Varric for us to get in.”

Varric rubbed his hands, “Sounds good, do you know where the dungeon are?”

Cassandra nodded, “Yes, I remember where they are. From there we get in get the keys from the guard.”

Dorian looked at her, he hated the cold and regretted agreeing to come. “I doubt our poor Commander will be in any condition to help fight our way out. I doubt he’s been getting gourmet food and wine the whole time. We’ll be lucky if he has the power to stand up under his own power.”

Bull looked at him and groaned, “I will keep my eye on the poor bastard, make sure he doesn’t get killed. I’ll carry him if I have to though.”

Cassandra nodded, “Then all we have to do is get there tomorrow and pray for the best.”

Everyone heard hooves in the snow coming in their direction. Everyone grabbed their weapons and readied themselves for trouble. They saw the rider was from the Inquisition. Cassandra lowered her sword and shield and walked up to the rider. “What is it?” she questioned, the rider opened their satchel and handed Cassandra the note. “Message for you Ser! From the Inquisitor she said it was important that you read it.”

Cassandra looked at the scout, “Why?” she questioned, as she started to read.

“It’s from the Divine herself!”

Cassandra smiled as she looked up at the messenger. “Thank you, you can go back now.”

The messenger nodded, “The Inquisitor is half a day behind you and should be joining you soon!” she then turned and rode off.

Cassandra looked at the others holding up the note. “Leli-" Cassandra caught herself, "Her _holiness_ , has help waiting for us at Therinfal Redoubt. They will tell us what to expect and how best to get in.”

Varric groaned as he had arms folded, “The Inquisitor wasn’t content to stay home and let us handle things, ourselves.”

Iron Bull looked at him, “I doubt she’ll be joining us though. She probably has her own way of getting him out.”

Cassandra didn’t like that Tiatria wasn’t going to listen. She sighed, “Then maybe her plan of getting him out will work better than ours. One person has a better chance of seeking in and getting him out then all of us do. We should work as a distraction to keep the templars busy and focused on us. Hopefully she’ll be able to have a better chance sneaking around.”

Later that night, Tiatria found Cassandra and the others camp. She looked at the foot prints in the snow and was able to tell which one was Varric’s. She quietly slipped into Varric’s tent and looked for his pack. She was surprised he left it by the entrance. She shook her head as went through his pack. She thought Varric knew better than that. She just chocked it up to Varric being tired. She smiled as she took a something out that was wrapped in leather cloth and tied with leather string. She quietly left and went back to her camp.

In her own camp Tiatria sat next to her fire to keep warm and groaned as the cramps in her belly were getting worse. They were now starting to shoot up her back. She wrapped herself in Druffalo hide as she looked at the fire. Her warm breath clouded the air as she breathed through her mouth. She was trying to move past the pain and let sleep come.

_Cullen was shaking in his cell in the dungeon because it was freezing. The winter had dropped the temperature down dramatically. He was still only just in his tunic and pants. No one gave him any blankets or any means of warmth. He could see his own breath in the air. The red lyrium crystals did little for warmth at this point._

_Because of his stubbornness he was denied food and water even further. Susanne was determined to break him. He was only given water every three days and if he didn’t drink it all, it would freeze in a few hours. His food which only came once a day instead of two; was only bread at this point which was debatable on its edibility. If he didn’t that it would become frozen solid._

_Unable to get Cullen to break on joining them Susanne, focused on why he was at to start with. Cullen still told them nothing. He didn’t want them to anything since his information could possibly be use to their advantage. He didn’t want it used against the Chantry or Thedas for that matter._

_Susanne came to his cell walking like she was going to kill someone. She was very tempted to at this point. She opened the cell and walked in “Your information has to do with red lyrium, doesn't it? Could it save the order?” she questioned in a demanding tone._

_Cullen watched her pace side to side in front of him. He still said nothing as he watched her face get agitated. She finally had enough of his insolence and stopped looking at him. There were two other Templars with Susanne on either side. "Hold him" she ordered. The two other templars grabbed Cullen by the arms, raising him to his feet. Susanne gave a clever smile as reached into Cullen's front pocket and removed his locket. Cullen threw himself at the woman as he was restrained from by the guards. He gave a ferocious roar as the woman pulled her hand back. "I think I'll keep this for the time being, you won't need it where your going."_

_Susanne seemed satisfied with herself as now she found something that truly got to Cullen. That such a small object had such great worth to a man like him._

_Susanne looked at the locket but didn't open it, “What is this? A keepsake?" Cullen gave the woman a nasty look, "Its a locket of my family."_

_Susanne tapped the object in her palm, "I doubt very much that you will ever see your family again. If you refuse to tell me anything then we will break you!" She then held up the locket, "One piece at a time if necessary. Tomorrow you will be moved to a different part of the dungeon. Your body will break before your mind it seems!”_

_Cullen narrowed his eyes as he still struggled. “Well the torture chamber will be a change of pace.”_

_Susanne narrowed her gaze, “We’ll see how long you can keep up your defiance.” she told him in an evil tone._

_Cullen shrugged, “At least it will be a change of scenery.”_

_Susanne then walked out as her friends dropped Cullen on his knees. She and the others walked out of the cell having it slam behind them, “I’d start praying to the Maker if I were you! We won't stop till you tell us what you know.”_

_Cullen watched her leave his sight and to start praying to the Maker for what was to come next. He at least was happy things seemed to be reaching there end. Stripped of the last thing that held any meaning to him. Cullen realized he had to make peace with the fact he would never see his family again. However even at his lowest Cullen was planning things to the way, a warrior should. He knew the guards carried their swords on them at all times. He planned to steal one and try to escape his way to freedom. However he knew his odds but he at least took solace that he would die the way he wanted. He’d die with a sword in his hand and a war cry in his heart._

Tiatria woke up taking in a huge breath and sat up. She saw it was dawn as she looked around. She groaned again and doubled over in pain. She tried very hard not to scream! She got up putting the item she got from Varric’s pack in her saddle bag and mounted her horse and rode off, leaving another blood stain where she had been sleeping.


	3. Dawn's Light

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> As Tiatria tries to figure out a way to get into Therinfal, Cassandra and the others work on serving a distraction. Tiatria has get Cullen out before her pains get worse and the Templars come for Cullen....

During the night Templars came to Cullen's cell, held him up and beat the put him through a night of hell. He was severally beaten, used as a living punching bag. At the moment Cullen was face down on the floor, the coldness of the bricks seemed to sooth his wounds on his face and abdomen. He could hear footsteps heading towards him. He heard the door to the cell open and someone knelt down next to him. "Commander" someone whispered, it was the cook from before. 

The cook was gentle as she gently too Cullen's left into both of hers. She could see Cullen's eye was severally swollen. "Commander" she whispered again. Cullen's head moved slightly as he moaned. Slowly Cullen moved his head and opened his eye, at the moment it hurt to talk so the cook talked for him. Cullen felt the woman put something in his hand, "I believe this belongs to you, the female templar gave this to me for disposal." Cullen unable to move broke down and wept on the floor as his hand held firmly onto the locket.

The woman slowly, gently helped Cullen sit up against the wall, his head gently laying backward against the wall. The woman heard footsteps and got up and ran. "Maker bless you, help is coming." Cullen heard the door shut and heard her footsteps disappear. Cullen felt the cool metal of the locket as his grip became tighter. 

*********************************************************

Cassandra looked at Varric who came out of his tent yawning. “Did it work Varric?” she questioned.

Varric smiled, “Like a charm, my lock picking tools are gone. So I’m willing to bet she has them right now.”

  
Cassandra nodded as she sighed, Varric could tell something was wrong. “What is it?” he questioned.

  
Cassandra pointed out a blood trail leading in and out of his tent. Varric looked back into his tent and saw a blood stain next to his bag. He stuck his head back out, “Is she injured?” he questioned confused.

  
Bull shook his head, “Not like you’re thinking Varric. Look at the blood trail itself.” Bull pointed with his right index finger to the trail.

  
Varric looked, “The blood is dripping in between her footsteps.” Varric looked at Bull, “Which means?”

  
Cassandra gave a frustrated sigh looking at him, “Which means the baby is in danger Varric. She’s starting to lose the baby, plain and simple.”

  
Varric’s eyes got wide, “Ah, shit.” he sighed. “This attempt in getting Cullen back is too much for her and the baby. I warned her about this before we left. It’s why I told her to stay behind and to leave it to us.” she told him.

  
Bull looked at Cassandra, “Why don’t we follow the trail and see where it goes, just to make sure she’s okay.”

Cassandra nodded, “Let’s pull up camp then.”

  
Dorian came out of his tent yawning and stretching out his arms. He saw everyone’s faces and they didn’t look happy. “What did I miss?” he questioned.

  
They found her camp and that she had already left hours ago. However Cassandra drew concern seeing the dried blood stain in the snow where she slept. “Let’s go” she told them, as they headed to Therinfal Redoubt.

  
When they got there nothing seemed amiss. They had found a section that had a thicket of trees and brush. They quietly dismounted their horses and looked around with weapons drawn. Bull’s body tensed “We’re not alone” he grumbled, as he looked around the tree tops.

  
Cassandra poised herself to strike as she looked above her. Dorian looked above him with his left hand seeming to hold a fireball. “Let’s take it easy shall we, it could be being watched by the allies the Divine sent us.” Dorian cautioned.

  
They heard bird chirps overhead the sounds echoed so there was no way to tell which direction they came from. Cassandra stood up straight putting her sword away. “It’s alright, stand down.”

  
A scout came down into sight from the tree branches. She was still in the tree in front of them but now visible. “Seeker Pentaghast, we have looked all around the fortress and found a way to let you inside.” said the scout.

  
“Finally, something to go the way we want it too.” said Dorian snuffing out his fireball.

  
Cassandra looked back at the scout, “We have a spy on the inside as a servant. She is acting as a cook and errand messenger. She’s been on the inside for a few weeks now. We believe she will be able to open the main gate for you.”

  
Cassandra nodded, “That’s good then. Hopefully he will be able to gain access to the keys to Cullen’s cell.” The scout looked at her, “The Templars take turns in watching the Commander. He’s going to be moved today to the torture chamber for not giving the information they seek and his refusal in leading them.”

  
Bull shook his head as he looked at Cassandra, “Then we need to get our asses inside and get him out of there before we’re too late on getting him out alive!”

  
Tiatria had found the location she dreamed about. It was thick with brush to hide in. She was trying move past the pain which now were becoming more like labor pains. She wasn’t going to let the pain stop her. She moved around trying to find the exact spot she had dreamed about. She had a plan and wasn’t sure how she was going to pull it off, if she couldn’t find the exact spot. She looked around till she saw an arrow in a tree that had a note tied to it. She looked at it and took the note off the arrow.

Inquisitor,

This the exact spot where the Commander’s cell is located.

Maker guide you,  
Scout Harding

  
Tiatria looked right under her feet by the tree. She saw the blood turning the snow red as she put her left hand on the tree’s trunk. She screamed as she felt a hard contraction hit her. Her right on her belly as she felt her water break in a gush. She now knew she had to hurry and get Cullen. She held out her left hand as she took in deep breaths through her nose and focused. Her mark flashed and she opened a rift directly under her she then jumped in the rift itself.

  
Cassandra and the others were up against the Therinfal’s wall that led to the main gate. Cassandra had her sword and shield ready in hand. She peeked over around the side of the wall that led to the entrance. She then looked back at the rest of the others. She gave a nod to them as she peeked around the corner again. The gate went up as expected and they rushed with no sound, they looked around the main courtyard, it was empty. They walked slowly into the courtyard further looking for any signs of an ambush.

Varric did a full three hundred and eighty degree turn while looking around. He held up Bianca, “What’s the catch?” he questioned, in suspicion.

  
Cassandra remembered the door that led into a meeting room. There’d be a door on the other side of it that would lead to the main stairway into the Great Hall. Cassandra then noticed an arcane shield engulf her. She looked at Dorian who had cast the shields around everyone. Dorian pointed onto the battlements above and there for everyone to see were red templar archers. Bull gave a smile and low chuckle, “Now things are going to get fun!”

  
Cassandra readied herself, “Remember! Keep them on us!” she told the others in a determined voice.

  
Tiatria entered into the fade looking around. She had to judge where she was going to open the next rift carefully. Too soon and she could enter a cell of her own, too late and she could enter a room full of red templars. She struggled to remember the cells of the dungeon from the dream. She dropped to her knees on all fours as another contraction hit her. She looked down as she could see blood starting to slowly come out of her. She used her mark to open another rift and she crawled threw it as she screamed in pain. She fell onto her right side hitting the bars of a cell. She slowly got onto all fours as she growled in pain.

  
Tiatria looked up and saw she was in front of Cullen’s cell. She saw he was sleeping in his cell. He was sitting up with his legs stretched out. His hands in his lap his palms slightly turned up. His head lowered down. She got up onto her knees and held onto the bars.

  
“CULLEN!” she cried out with tears in her eyes.

  
Tiatria didn’t see Cullen move which caused her to become frightened. Her heart pounded as she grabbed for Varric’s lock picks. She picked up two and jammed them in the lock. She saw Varric do this a thousand times how hard could it be? It took her what seemed like forever. She felt something pop in the lock and the door opened. She dropped the tools and crawled to Cullen. She touched the sides of his face and lifted up his head.

  
“Cullen? Cullen wake up!” she called to him.

  
Cullen slowly woke up his vision blurred. “Who? Who is it?” he slurred in a daze.

  
Tiatria kissed his lips as the whiskers from his beard tickled her face. “Don’t you recognize me?” she questioned tearfully.

  
Cullen shook his head in belief, “Tia?” he questioned not believing his eyes. She smiled crying, “Yes, my love. I’m here to get you out of here!” She went back and got Varric’s tools. She looked at his wrists and started to pick the locks to his shackles. She could hear fighting above her and smiled. “It seems Cassandra and the others are keeping the templars busy.”

  
Susanne walked briskly to Cullen’s cell. She had three other templars with her, “We must move the Commander before the invaders get to him. We can't let them take him!” she ordered.

  
When she got to Cullen's cell it was empty. She looked around and screamed in frustration, “Where is he?”

  
Bull broke the door that led to the dungeons with his axe. Cassandra ran down the stairs that led down to the dungeons. An arrow whizzed by her head. She looked to her right and saw Susanne with the other templars. She had her bow at the ready, “You will not have him!” she cried out to them.

  
Varric shot Bianca hitting her in her right collarbone forcing her to lower her bow. “We’re taking our Commander back!” he told her.

  
The other templars attacked them with their weapons at the ready. Bull swung his axe having it hit two forcing them to fly into the air; smashing into the other cells. Cassandra charged the other and they locked blades. Cassandra used shield pommel to knock the templar off balance and she was able to stab the templar beneath his helmet going through his throat. He fell to floor dead.

  
Cassandra stood up straight and looked at Susanne, “Where is he?” she demanded in a calm tone. Bull had Susanne by the scruff off the neck as he forced her to walk. When they got to Cullen’s cell they saw it was empty.

  
Varric saw his tools scattered on the floor on the inside. “She was here!” he said with a smirk.

  
Varric looked around, “Where did she take him?” he questioned picking up his tools. Cassandra noticed the blood all over the floor. Cassandra just focused on the blood. “Wherever they are we have to trust they are safe.”

  
Cassandra then looked at Susanne, “Come, let’s take her back to Skyhold for judgement. I’m sure the Inquisitor will want to deal with her when she returns.”

  
Dorian moved out of the way for Cassandra and looked at Susanne. “After you Mademoiselle!” Bull forced her to walk on.

  
Tiatria stepped out of the fade rift with Cullen. He was able to walk as long as she had one of his arms around her neck. They both fell to the ground screaming rolling onto her back. Cullen was struggling for breath. She got up and grabbed a skin of water on Hulon’s saddle. She knelt down and helped Cullen to sit up so, he could drink it. After a few moments, Cullen seemed better and she got him on Hulon’s back. She then got up and snapped the reins yelling Hulon into a gallop.

  
Tiatria got a few miles out before she had the horse slow down and Cullen fell off her horse. Tiatria got down and knelt down in front of him. “Cullen?” Her hands held his face to look at her “Cullen? Can you hear me? Open your eyes if you can hear me!”

  
Cullen just moaned as she looked around for somewhere, to go. She wasn’t going to be able to get him back on the horse. She noticed a cave to her right about thirty feet to her right. She felt another contraction hit her as she got up with Cullen’s right arm around her neck.

  
“Come on, you need to get up.” Cullen sat up but couldn’t stand. She looked at him “You need to help me Cullen! You need to help me!” she begged struggling to stand.

  
Cullen hung his head as he lulled his way to his feet. She smiled, “Good Cullen good.”

  
They took it slow, one step at a time. Tiatria looked down and saw the blood running down her inner legs. When she was able to get Cullen in the cave she had him walk in enough that cold wouldn’t get to them. She had him lay down again and she kissed his forehead and ran for her backpack on Hulon’s saddle. She came back with the bag and some wood in hand. She lit the wood on fire as she moved over to Cullen. She took out a knife she had inside her pack and smiled looking at him. She noticed something his right pocket. She took it out and saw it was his locket. She had never seen it before, she opened it and her eyes soften. Tears streamed down her cheeks as she smiled. She bent down as she kissed his lips. She had missed them and she rubbed his right cheek

  
She then put his head into her lap. She smiled as felt his beard and looked him over. He was a lot thinner than the last time she saw him. She rubbed his beard thinking he looked interesting with it. However she felt it wasn’t him, it wasn’t the Cullen she remembered with him wearing it. She took the knife and started giving him a shave. She felt a hard contraction hit her so she dropped the knife as she bent over with his head in her lap. She struggled to breathe as braced herself with her left arm. When it passed she grabbed the knife and continued as she took in deep breaths.


	4. What Is

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Cullen wakes up finding himself in a cave, his wounds tended, food waiting for him. He realizes he's not alone and notices Tiatria's equipment suggesting she's there with him. He looks around the cave and is shocked to see what he finds...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Elven Language Translation
> 
> Ir abelas (I am sorry) Mir Len (my child) Dareth shiral (Used as a "farewell" it means, Safe journey) Mir Da'len (my little one) Ar lath ma! (I love you)
> 
> Elven Eulogy
> 
> “Da’len, na melana Sahlin, Emma ir abelas. Souver'inan isala hamin, Vhenan him dor'felas. In uthenera na revas, Vir sulahn'nehn. Vir dirthera, Vir samahl la numin. Vir lath sa'vunin.”
> 
> Translation
> 
> Little one your time is come, Now I am filled with sorrow. Weary eyes need resting, Heart has become grey and slow. In waking sleep is freedom, We sing, rejoice.  
> We tell the tale, We laugh and cry, We love one more day.

Cullen slowly opened his eyes after hearing pops and cracks of a fire. His eyes focused slowly to have him discover he was in a cave, safe and warm. He saw food and water next to him, he rolled onto his right side. He ate the food as fast as he could. His face felt cold and he touched it. He was surprised to find that his beard was gone. He saw across the fire there was a backpack, he noticed a staff lying flat behind the pack. He realized he wasn’t alone, someone had to have brought him here. He looked at the blanket he was covered with and then back at the pack. He focused on the staff and elven mage armor, he realized it was Tiatria’s. He got up and looked around not seeing her anywhere.

  
“Love?” he called out, his heart racing hoping to see her.

  
Cullen sat up and realized his shoulder wound was healed. He slowly stood up his legs were still shaky. He had to sit back down still looking around. He looked around the cave but didn’t see anyone. He got up from where he was. He was slow to do it to make sure he wasn’t going to fall. He started to look around. The cave was bigger than it looked, the cave had a dark patch.

“Tia? Are you here?” he called out, seeing and hear nothing.

Cullen looked at the entrance of the cave but was drawn back to the back of it. He heard cries coming from the back of the cave. He walked slowly not sure what he’d find, “Tia?” he called out in an inquisitive tone.

As he got closer Cullen could hear the crying more clearly. He recognized Tiatria’s voice from it. Cullen’s heart pound as he walked over seeing her behind a large rock. He knelt down putting his left hand on her right shoulder. He was so happy to see her but he was also confused.

“Why are you sitting the dark?” he asked. Tiatria continued to cry and groan in pain.

Tiatria wrapped her arms around her stomach bending over. Cullen wasn’t sure what was going on, “What’s wrong?”

Cullen quickly picked his wife up causing her to fight him, “No, I don’t want you to see this!” she cried.

Cullen shook his head, “See what? What are you talking about?”

Cullen could see she was in pain and he didn’t know why. Tiatria started to scream in pain now as she laid on her left side. Cullen finally picked Tiatria up even though she tried to push him away. Cullen carried his wife into the light and knelt down with her. He noticed she was wearing her tunic and her elven mage armor leggings, she was also bleeding between her legs.

  
“Maker’s Breath!” He panicked seeing Tiatria bleeding quite bladly from in between her legs. “What’s going on?” he asked. Tiatria opened her legs as she gritted her teeth and sobbed. “I’m losing our baby!”

  
Cullen’s eyes got wide, “What?” His left hand stroking Tiatria's head, his right hand held her hand.

“I found out shortly after you left." Tiatria finally answered, crying in pain. "I was going to tell you when you got back but now…”

Cullen looked down and started to panic, he finally noticed a sizeable belly on her. He stood up with Tiatria and carried her to end of the wall so she could lean up against it. He hastily pulled off Tiatria's pant leggings. She just looked at him sobbing, “I’m so sorry! It’s my fault!” she sobbed.

Cullen looked up at his wife and put his forehead against hers kissing her. “This isn’t your fault! This will never be your fault, it just wasn’t meant to be.”

Cullen looked behind him and saw her pack. He got up and snatched and brought it back. He dug into it and was hoping to find something he could use. He found some cloths and a knife. He looked back at her braced himself for what was to come. Tiatria just sobbed as she looked down.

Frantic Tiatria shook her head, “I’m sorry Cullen, I failed you. Why didn’t I listen to Cassandra?” she sobbed, beating herself up. Cullen had no idea what she was talking about and at the moment he didn’t care.

Cullen didn’t know a thing he was doing but he just followed his instincts. He looked at her, “How far?” Tiatria shook her head, “Not enough” she sobbed.

Tiatria screamed as she finally felt she had to push but refused. Cullen saw it in her eyes, “Tia, you can’t stop this. Just let it happen!” She didn’t, she couldn’t as much as she knew it was happening. Tiatria refused and shook her head. Cullen just prayed, as he wasn’t sure what to do. He looked at Tiatria as he rubbed her legs. “Look at me love.” Tiatria had her eyes shut tight as she was trying to force her body to stop. “LOOK AT ME!” he growled grabbing her attention.

Finally Tiatria looked at Cullen snapping her eyes open. Cullen's eyes softened, “Just let this happen. We can always try again." Cullen told her gently, "This is not the end, you have to survive this for Amaila. We will try again.”

He didn’t know, how could he know? They could always try again but this…this was _her_ fault. If she had listened to Cassandra this, wouldn’t be happening. If she had listened this, wouldn’t be happening and he’d have a second baby to look forward to. Cullen kept his eyes on Tiatria as she nodded her head.

Tiatria just sobbed looking at her Husband as her right hand laid on his left, which was on her thigh. She started to take in deep breaths as she nodded. She began to push as her body urged her to do. Cullen held her hand the whole time. He quickly kissed Tiatria's hand as he let go as he saw the head coming. He was gentle to guide it as she pushed.

“Good! Keep going!” he told her as his body tensed. When he looked up at Tiatria as she was trying to catch her breath. He looked at her extremely focused, “Almost done, one more and it will be over.” Tiatria’s legs started to shake as she looked up, “MYTHAL FORGIVE ME!” she cried out as she gave one final push.

Cullen held up his baby as it gave tiny cries of life. He couldn’t believe it, it was alive. “Thank the Maker!” he breathed.

  
Cullen grabbed the cloths as he took the knife freeing the baby and wrapped the body in one of the cloths. Cullen couldn’t believe how tiny and fragile he was. He held the baby in the cloth and started to cry.

Cullen looked at his wife, “He’s alive, our boy is alive!” he told her, his body shook from adrenaline and joy.

Tiatria smiled as she looked at Cullen, beaming with pride. He gave her the baby as he sat next to her. Tiatria just wept as she held her baby. She had seen this before with mothers in her clan. She knew their Son was on borrowed time. He had some black hair but she wasn’t sure do to his size if he could open his eyes or not. He had Cullen’s lips and nose as she looked at him.

The guilt Tiatria felt was crushing as she looked at the tiny and fragile infant. She looked at Cullen with a heavy heart. “He needs a name Cullen.” she sniffed. Cullen nodded his head, “He does, and a bloody good one too. He’s strong to be able to survive this.”

Tiatria looked up at Cullen tearfully and shook her head, “Cullen” He looked at Tiatria and saw the truth in her eyes. He looked at the baby with glassy eyes as he nodded. He looked away and around the cave as reality set in. Only one name came to mind for him.

“Shartan” he told her. She looked at him, “What?” she questioned, not sure.

Cullen took a deep breath, “Shartan, that’s his name. He was a Leader of the elven slave rebellion who joined Andraste in battling the Imperium.” he told her, struggling to hold back tears.

Cullen took the baby from his wife as he looked at the infant. “At Shartan's word, the sky grew black with arrows. At Our Lady's, ten thousand swords rang from their sheaths, a great hymn rose over Valarian Fields gladly proclaiming: Those who had been slaves were now free.” He looked at her “Shartan 10:1, Dissonant Verse. I can’t think of a better name for name of our boy. ” Tiatria smiled as she realized how much it meant to Cullen. Cullen looked at his son as he held him and smiled. “Leliana told me stories about Shartan when she saw me reading a book on the Dalish history once.”

Tiatria was surprised to hear this. She didn’t know Cullen had any interest in knowing more about her people. “She told me that he was born into captivity and died when Andraste was betrayed.”

Tiatria nodded her head, “That’s true, my people speak of him and what he wanted for the elves.” she told him.

Cullen smiled as he nodded, “She also told me when she first went to the Temple of Sacred ashes with Amalia when she and King Alistair; they were just wardens at the time. She said that there was a gauntlet that tested the faithful. During the trials she and others encountered what appears to be the spirit of Shartan.”

Tiatria looked at Cullen, she knew he was trying to keep his mind busy and distracted from the inevitable. He kept looking straight ahead he couldn’t bear to watch and she knew it. _She_ on the other hand kept her eyes on her tiny boy the whole time.

“He asked a riddle and told of his desire for an elven homeland.” Cullen thought for a moment, “How did the riddle go? She told me a few times.” he mumbled aloud in thought.

After a few moments, he smiled remembering, “I'm neither a guest nor a trespasser be. In this place I belong, that belongs also to me."

Tiatria cried as she heard those words. "Home, was the answer." she told him with a small smile.

Cullen smiled at her, “Yes that was it.”

Tiatria put her head against Cullen’s right arm. She sniffed when she looked at her son. “Cullen” hearing is wife's words Cullen looked at the baby as his eyes softened.

Cullen began to break down and cry his right thumb gently caressed his son’s cheek. “'Ashes we were, and ashes we become.” Cullen started to sob “Maker, give our boy a place at your side. Let us take comfort in the peace he has found in eternity.” He held up the bundle and rested his left cheek on it. Cullen rocked back and forth, he saw Tiatria start to hit the back of her head against the wall. He leaned over to her with their baby’s body still in hand. “Don’t do that Tia, it wasn’t your fault.” Cullen told her as he pulled her in closer.

Tiatria smashed her eyes shut as she sobbed, “YES IT IS!” she shrieked. She looked at the bundle, her right hand shaky as reached out. She touched the cloth and broke down putting her head on it. She let out a gut wrenching shriek. Cullen rubbed her arm as he didn’t know how to console her. Cullen watched as Tiatria desperately clung onto the cloth. “Ir abelas Mir Len Dareth shiral Mir Da'len Ar lath ma!”

Cullen kissed her head, “Do the Dalish have words to say for the departed?”

Tiatria nodded as she still clung to the cloth. Tiatria raised her head as she took the body from him. However she shook her head, she couldn’t get the words out. For they were too hard for her to say, she just looked at her son and cried.

  
Cullen wasn’t sure what to do at this point he moved back in between Tiatria’s legs. He did his best to help take care of things and clean her up. “It’s my fault, all of this is my fault.” She said aloud in a flat tone.

Cullen looked at her, “No, honey it’s…”

“YES IT IS!” she snapped as she fought for breath.

Tiatria looked at her baby, “If I had listened to Cassandra this wouldn’t have happened.” Cullen looked at her, “I was having problems with keeping him inside me. The stress of you being gone was too much.” Cullen’s eyes honeycombed as she spoke. “Our baby was a mage and was a Dreamer. Just like Amaila.” She looked at her husband, “He and possibly Amaila were linking me to you in my dreams.” She looked back at the baby, “However every time he did, I would start to have problems and start to cramping along with some bleeding. Cassandra wanted to come and get you with some of the others.”

Tiatria just sobbed, “I didn’t trust her to do it! I had a dream about you and you were in a state that frightened me. I left to get you out myself!” She looked up at Cullen with guilt clearly in her face. “I knew I couldn’t travel but my fear of losing you took over my senses. We lost our baby because of me! Please forgive me.” she begged.

Cullen gently smiled her, his hands rubbing her legs. “Sweet Heart, I don’t think beating yourself up over this is going to help. It sounds like you were having problem already. If you had stayed behind, I don’t know, if it would have made a difference. I think he couldn’t handle his power and it was draining him, that’s why you were having the problems you did.”

Tiatria looked at Cullen angry, “You should be yelling at me! Scolding me, not consoling me. I did this!” she sobbed, “I killed him!” she cried out.

Cullen knew at this point he couldn’t say anything to take away her guilt or pain. He didn’t blame her, he couldn’t, to him it just sounded like either way this would have happened. He was just thankful he got to meet and hold his son before he would be laid to rest. For Cullen that alone brought him a small measure of comfort.

After he was finished, Cullen then took the knife and walked off to where there was a small boulder and began to dig. Once he was finished he got up and walked back over. He knelt down in front of his wife as tears fell. He grabbed another cloth and started to put it over his Son’s head.

Tiatria stopped him, “Just a moment longer.” She begged.

Cullen sat down as she took the baby’s tiny hand into her right index finger and thumb. After a moment, she nodded and Cullen covered Shartan’s tiny face. He gently took him from Tiatria and walked back. He gently laid him down into the hole as Tiatria watched him. Cullen broke down into a sob as he was on all fours. He never thought in his life he'd have to bury one of his children. "Maker give me strength!", he begged.

Tiatria got up and walked over. She knelt down next to Cullen and pushed the dirt back into the hole till it was covered firmly into the ground. She took her right hand stretched out over the tiny grave. Green mana came from her hand and a flower made of mana, bloomed out of the dirt.

Tiatria took a breath as Cullen rubbed her back, "It's Dalish tradition to plant a tree or a bush over the dead's body." she told him. "That way even in death there can be life...since he is somewhere where the sun will never be. This flower will bloom eternally." Cullen nodded with a gentle smile, he liked knowing that she was able to honor their son in some fashion.

Cullen had carved their son’s name into the stone and the date he was born. He looked at the flower made from mana. He knew of this spell from his days as a Templar. It was called: Spellbloom. He smiled as he looked at it.

Tears dripped from Tiatria's eyes as she looked at his marker. “Da’len, na melana Sahlin, Emma ir abelas. Souver'inan isala hamin, Vhenan him dor'felas. In uthenera na revas, Vir sulahn'nehn. Vir dirthera, Vir samahl la numin. Vir lath sa'vunin.”

*****************************************************

Cassandra and the others were riding back to Skyhold with Susanne in tow. She stopped when she saw Hulon outside a cave. It rose her spirits to know where they were. She and the others rode over and dismounted. They saw Cullen holding Tiatria close to his right side with his right arm. She looked around seeing the blood and things strewn about. Cullen woke hearing the footsteps and smiled seeing his friends.

“Good to see you” he told them in a hushed, exhausted tone.

Dorian looked around, he noticed the grave. “I don’t think we came at the best time.” 

Cassandra looked at her friend, “What happened?”

Cullen’s eyes showed what had happened. “Ah shit” groaned Varric as he saw the grave. 

Cassandra took a heavy sigh, “I’m sorry Cullen, I wanted her to stay behind and rest. I was hoping this wouldn’t happen.”

Cullen lowered his eyes before turning his head back looking at the walls. “Well, it’s over now and nothing can be done.” he told her in a morbid tone.

Varric looked at him, “Do you want us to help you get you two back to Skyhold?”

Cullen wasn’t sure they could make it back in their conditions. Varric handed Cullen his skin of water and some of his food. “You look like could use this more than I do.” he chuckled.

Dorian walked up to the tiny grave looking at the Spellbloom flower. Being a Mortalitasi he knew of spells for the dead. He knelt down and closed his eyes and held out his hand. Purple mana came out of his hand the flower turned from green to purple. He got up and turned around. “Now no matter how long the grave is here the flower will always be as well.” he told Cullen. Cullen gave a nod as he fought back his tears.

Bull came in holding Susanne by the scruff of her neck. Her hands were tied in front of her, she had tried numerous times to and get lose. Bull told her to stop trying for it one of his knots that he used to tie Dorian to the bed when they wanted to have some fun. There was no way she was going to get out of it.

She saw Cullen snuggling up to the Inquisitor, “You are with the Inquisitor? A mage? How could you? You have betrayed the Order, betrayed the Maker!” she snapped in disgust. Cullen didn’t seem to care, he just looked at his wife sleeping.

Cassandra turned her head, “Be quiet!”, she ordered. She then looked at Bull, “Take her back outside.” The Qunari nodded and dragged her with him. “We’ll leave you all the food we can spare and an extra horse. Come back when you are able.” Cullen nodded as his face showed his exhaustion. Cassandra turned to leave but then turned her head back.“Cullen” he looked up at her, “I am truly sorry for what happened. If you ever need to talk about it…” he nodded and watched her leave with the others.

The time Cullen and Tiatria were in the cave she didn’t talk. Her face bore her sadness and guilt. Cullen tried to convince that things would be okay. However his words didn't seem to reach her.

*******************************************************

After a few days Cullen was well enough to ride out with her to Skyhold. When they got back a huge welcome was celebrated for Cullen’s return. Cullen was happy to be back but he was more eager to see his daughter. He raced into his chambers and when he reached the top. He found her sleeping in her cradle. He dropped to knees and cried seeing her, he thought he’d never see her again. He couldn’t believe how big she’d gotten.

Tiatria however remained solemn and withdrawn for days, even as tended to her duties in Skyhold. 

Cullen coped by burying himself in his work, he was in his office reading some reports as one of the doors opened. He looked up and saw Cassandra. She smiled at him, “How are you adjusting?”

Cullen looked down at his desk as his left hand was flat against the desktop. “I’m fine, I’m home and with my family where, I belong.” He looked at her, “Tiatria on the other hand is…” he sighed shaking his head.

Cassandra gave a gentle smile, “I’m sorry, it will take time for both of you. I think it's because she feels it was her fault that…” Cullen nodded, “I know but I tell her it wasn’t. She won’t listen its maddening! It…” Cullen shook his head looking at her sighing. “It just wasn’t meant to be.”

  
Cassandra looked away from him for a moment. She then looked back, “Why were you in Haven? What was so important there?”

Cullen stood up straight dropping his papers on the desk. “The Divine wanted me to meet up with Charter see if there was accessible way to get into the shrine where Andraste’s ashes were kept.”

Cassandra folded her arms as she listened. “She was hoping in accessing them that maybe they would be able to heal the red templars. Maybe give them their lives back now that Corypheus and Samson are gone.” He sighed, “I took the assignment because I feel like I still owe the order something. If I could help give them their lives back that maybe…I’d feel better for leaving them behind.”

Cassandra nodded, “Were you able to find anything that would suggest an access point?”

Cullen folded his arms, “Actually I did” Cassandra looked at him shocked, “I sent a raven shortly after my return here. When Tiatria knocked the avalanche onto Haven it revealed a door to the shrine itself. Leliana had told me about such a thing when she visited the shrine all those years ago.”

Cassandra lowered her arms, “Did you go in? Did you see it for yourself?”

Cullen sighed I only went in as far as I was able to see that nothing had collapsed and people could explore further. I left shortly after that and the red templars shortly found my trail and chased after me.” He sighed, “Hopefully the Divine’s people will be able to see if the urn is still inside and if it can cure those that are left. I had Susanne sent to Val Royeaux so if they do find the ashes they can test it on her first.”

Cassandra was stunned, “You’d help save her after everything that happened at Therinfal?”

Cullen looked at her “In the end, I know why she did it. She wanted a leader to save the Order, she wanted them to be given a purpose and reclaim the glory that was once there. I want to see if she can be saved so it will give her hope that the others can be also.” He told her.

Cassandra nodded, “I must admit you are more forgiving that I’d ever be.” 

Cullen sighed, “Maybe, but it feels that it’s the right thing to do.”

Cassandra smiled patting Cullen's shoulder, “I’m sure it is then.” She turned around, “I will talk to you later, let me know if you need me for anything.” The door shut behind her as Cullen picked up the reports again with a sigh.

It had been weeks since his return, and Cullen had let things lie hoping Tiatria would snap out of it. At this point he had enough. He saw her on the balcony her arms folded. He walked out to her, “Tia?”

Tiatria didn’t look at her husband, she couldn't. “I’m sorry Cullen I just can’t let this go.” He rubbed the back of his neck putting his left hand around her. “I know”

Tiatria looked at him with tears in her eyes. “I’m just sorry is all I can say. I…should’ve…” Cullen's eyes became intense as he looked at her, “There wasn’t anything you could have done. Whether you came for me or not.” Tiatria shook her head, “I should have taken care of myself, _he_ should have been my first priority.”

Cullen held his wife tight, “I don’t blame you! Do you understand? I don’t blame you! If anything I should be thanking you! You got me out, you tended to my wounds.” His hands held the sides of her face. He looked at her, “ _If_ anything you did something wonderful for me.” Tiatria looked at him confused, “You brought _him_ to me. If you had lost him by the time I got back, he would’ve been buried by then. I never would have met him, I would never had gotten to see him.”

Cullen fought back his tears, “I would never have held him.” Tiatria broke down and sobbed as she looked at him. He hugged her tight as he put his cheek against her head. “I will forever thank you for that!” he sniffed.

Cullen took out his locket and opened it. She saw a small lock of black hair, “I took it from him before I laid him to rest. I will always remember him with this. If it wasn't for you, I wouldn’t have this!” He looked at the skyline as he took a breath and swallowed. “We were blessed to have him for those short minutes.” Tiatria broke down seeing her Son's hair, “We will move on and have more children but we won’t forget him.”

Cullen looked at his in the eye, “Okay?” he questioned as she looked at him. Tiatria nodded as her body shook. “However you need to forgive yourself for this.” Her eyes looked down as she nodded, she knew he was right. She knew she had to let go. 

Cullen closed his locket and put it back in his pocket as he kissed her head and held her close to him. "Though all before me is shadow,Yet shall the Maker be my guide." Cullen's voice gave her comfort as he held her. "I shall not be left to wander the drifting roads of the Beyond. For there is no darkness in the Maker’s Light And nothing that He has wrought shall be lost."

They both looked out onto the balcony, watching the setting sun as they both knew they would heal and move on. However, they would never forget the tiny baby who helped his mother save his father and bring him home.


End file.
